public service announcement (feel free to forward)

yesterday, from three different people, i got that email forward.

you know the one.

"you'll lose your hotmail if you don't forward this to 10 -- 20 -- 30 of your friends and also you'll catch the plague and get yr kidney stolen and die but if you forward it bill gates will send you a check for $4,835.93, i know because my cousin got hers!"

we've all gotten this annoying-ass missive at one time or another, usually from some well-meaning and friendly soul who thinks they're doing a good & helpful thing.

they are not. they are killing electronic trees & cluttering up my inbox with cyber trash. this morning i was inspired to commision an educational initiative from honeychild-hates-forwards, inc.

what follows is a couple of unmitigated truths of email, hoaxes, and the art and science of forwarding nonsense to innocent cyber-bystanders. this information is good to know in general but has particular good use as a guideline for what not to send to ME. please feel free to forward THIS around, far and wide.

1. if something increases font size three times in the course of the email, it is ALMOST CERTAINLY BULLSHIT.

don't send it to me.

2. if it tells you you have to forward it to 10 people, 20 people, or "everyone in your address book," it is DEFINITELY BULLSHIT.

don't send it to me.

3. if it threatens you with the loss of your email, or promises you money from some corporation, but doesn't come directly from the corporation or service provider in question, it is NECESSARILY, OBVIOUSLY, INDUBITABLY BULLSHIT. nothing somebody forwards you is or can be official correspondence, it can never be traced by the company supposedly involved, it is NOT real, and it is annoying as hell.

don't send it to me.

4. if it promises good luck, or threatens bad luck, it's KARMICALLY EVIL BULLSHIT.

don't send it to me.


this has been a public service announcement brought to you by jamyla-hates-forwards, inc.