the hubster is so happy/scared/excited he doesn't know what to do with himself. we saw a new baby @ the hospital nursery tour last nite and he said that made it even more real. he anticipates not sleeping for a few days, just staring at the kid like crazy trying to learn things like how he sleeps, the sounds he makes, etc. he says he'll just be crazy worried and will hover over the baby like a crazy person.
i was like, well at least you've got a plan! lol.
a friend reminded me today of something dh said years ago, that if we ever had children, he would just cover the floor in plastic and let the baby run around diaperless. that doesn't sound like a half bad idea! with the extra added bonus that the next time someone asks about the 'theme' for the 'nursery,' we can just say we're going with floor to ceiling plastic sheeting!
1.31.2008
1.22.2008
news from the neighborhood
so the the word is out about the pregnancy among the neighborhood kids.
it started a couple of weeks ago, when we were going out and like 4 kids were sitting on the porch swing across the street - this is the two little homeschooled glasses-wearing nerds (a boy who is maybe 8, a girl who is 10 or 11) and a couple of 7 or 8 yr old girls from down the street. the occasional 4 yr old tagalong baby sibling might have been there too, but i'm not sure. i waved and they waved back, and then in a sudden burst, one of them called out 'are you pregnant?' - and then i looked, and they were all scandalized and shushing the one who had said it. LOL! so i told them yes, and then they were like, 'see i told you' and stuff, to each other. they asked was it twins, was it a boy or a girl, etc.
yesterday they were outside when we were leaving and they asked where we were going. 'just to the store.' they said 'all three of you?' just too enthused about their own cleverness. and i said 'all two and a half of us' and they cracked up.
hee hee. i can't wait till they're babysitting age.
it started a couple of weeks ago, when we were going out and like 4 kids were sitting on the porch swing across the street - this is the two little homeschooled glasses-wearing nerds (a boy who is maybe 8, a girl who is 10 or 11) and a couple of 7 or 8 yr old girls from down the street. the occasional 4 yr old tagalong baby sibling might have been there too, but i'm not sure. i waved and they waved back, and then in a sudden burst, one of them called out 'are you pregnant?' - and then i looked, and they were all scandalized and shushing the one who had said it. LOL! so i told them yes, and then they were like, 'see i told you' and stuff, to each other. they asked was it twins, was it a boy or a girl, etc.
yesterday they were outside when we were leaving and they asked where we were going. 'just to the store.' they said 'all three of you?' just too enthused about their own cleverness. and i said 'all two and a half of us' and they cracked up.
hee hee. i can't wait till they're babysitting age.
1.19.2008
thankful to be a heavy sleeper
so, we're heading into month 7 now, right? the little monster has either suddenly become much more active, bigger, and/or stronger: the kicks are becoming really hard core. the other night i was sitting and could actually see the kicks from the outside of my belly for the first time. i mean, at previous times the hubster has gotten kicked in the head if he put his face to the belly to talk to the bun, so we know he's been manifesting to the outside world for a little while now. but to actually SEE it like see the bump come to the surface and move across like the loch ness monster?? talk about a weird sci-fi moment!!
we were sleeping face to face last night, or perhaps i should say *i* was sleeping last night. dh said he could feel the baby's kicks pummeling HIS stomach, and it was keeping him awake! he had to finally roll over so he could get some sleep! LOL.
we were sleeping face to face last night, or perhaps i should say *i* was sleeping last night. dh said he could feel the baby's kicks pummeling HIS stomach, and it was keeping him awake! he had to finally roll over so he could get some sleep! LOL.
1.07.2008
preggeritis symptom #4,080: wacko dreams
okey doke, had my first wacko pregnancy dream last night. at first, it was a wacko dream like my dreams are often wacko - some storage place we'd had things stored at went out of business and came in the dead of night and deposited like a whole houseful of stuff on our front lawn... old furniture, boxes, armoires full of historical costumery, knicknacks galore. we woke up astonished and eventually decided to just stick a 'yard sale' sign up in front of it and go with the flow. there was also some lovely sex stuff which happened, which was nice, since my bladder-sitting baby has been conspiring to keep me from getting any lately. at least my subconscious is getting off.
so then, in the dream there we are sitting on the lawn amid a bunch of old furniture, and also cooking out for some reason. this play-cousin of mine who recently had a baby in september comes up, holding her naked baby out in front of her in a big, translucent, exterior womb. the baby's skin is like translucent whitish, and s/he's shivering. she woman goes on to explain that when the baby was born, the skin wasn't strong enough, so they had to like create this psuedo womb (or surgically move her womb outside her body, the method wasn't entirely clear, even though i kept on asking incredulous questions throughout the dream) so that the baby's skin could keep on growing and getting stronger. there was fluid sloshing around in there between two layers, but it wasn't fully surrounding the baby, it was more like s/he was sitting in a puddle.
i could feel my dream-face scrunched up in disgust and disbelief, and kept asking her things like, 'they didn't have a NICU or something?' 'why can't you just take her out and put her in a bubble' and 'could you put a blanket around that? s/he looks freezing' and 'how do you shower with that thing attached to you?' but she and her mother were in placid denial that anything out of the ordinary was happening.
ew.
so then, in the dream there we are sitting on the lawn amid a bunch of old furniture, and also cooking out for some reason. this play-cousin of mine who recently had a baby in september comes up, holding her naked baby out in front of her in a big, translucent, exterior womb. the baby's skin is like translucent whitish, and s/he's shivering. she woman goes on to explain that when the baby was born, the skin wasn't strong enough, so they had to like create this psuedo womb (or surgically move her womb outside her body, the method wasn't entirely clear, even though i kept on asking incredulous questions throughout the dream) so that the baby's skin could keep on growing and getting stronger. there was fluid sloshing around in there between two layers, but it wasn't fully surrounding the baby, it was more like s/he was sitting in a puddle.
i could feel my dream-face scrunched up in disgust and disbelief, and kept asking her things like, 'they didn't have a NICU or something?' 'why can't you just take her out and put her in a bubble' and 'could you put a blanket around that? s/he looks freezing' and 'how do you shower with that thing attached to you?' but she and her mother were in placid denial that anything out of the ordinary was happening.
ew.
1.02.2008
it's hard out here for a hermit
been talking to my family more than i think i ever have in my whole life entire.
we did a lot of video chatting over xmas, wherein i showcased the belly on pixelated videocams for roomsfull of people we love who we did not travel out of state to go see. hooray! for high technology keeping yr nerdy a$$ at home.
been thinking lately abt the kids thing, namely how many? are we committed to having? it took us 9 yrs together to have kid the first... and i've always thought i would have zero, or two. 'tawk amongst yahselves' is my motto. LOL! maybe we'll get away with one, like if kaiju turns out to be a really self-amusing kid who learns to read at 3 and/or spends his time playing outside in the yard with other neighborhood kids. but i've never thought i'd have the attention span for one child.
at the same time, i can totally see the benefits of a larger family. i am one of four, and i HEART my sibs to death. it was a lot of fun growing up in our house. plus, since the little ones are 7 and 10 yrs younger than me, i got a chance to babysit, read stories, learn responsibility and participate in their upbringing a little. we weren't primary caretakers by any means, but i did get a chance to see how our age spread made it possible for my mom to put some kid-sustained systems in place that helped things run more smoothly.
also in preparing for our child to enter the world, be are becoming even more cognizant that we're building and adding onto longer-standing and extended structures when we procreate and move and marry and make life decisions like that. me and the hubster tend to isolate ourselves, but with a bun coming we're thinking about it in a different way. how far do we live from the rest of the extended fam? how often are the cousins going to see each other? dh only has one brother, but they were raised really close to their 4 cousins; now they are all adults and it's really cute to see how important they are in each others' lives, even tho they're spread out over the NY tri-state area. there were four of us siblings but we were isolated from extended family and only saw any given set of cousins like once a year when we made holiday-related road trips. now we're adults and only just now getting back into sporadic email contact.
kaiju will have a 1st cousin almost exactly 1 yr older than him; a 2nd cousin the same exact age. they will all live in 3 different states... LI, NJ, and we're the farflung ones in MD. what will their relationships be like? it's sobering to know that that's entirely up to us.
we did a lot of video chatting over xmas, wherein i showcased the belly on pixelated videocams for roomsfull of people we love who we did not travel out of state to go see. hooray! for high technology keeping yr nerdy a$$ at home.
been thinking lately abt the kids thing, namely how many? are we committed to having? it took us 9 yrs together to have kid the first... and i've always thought i would have zero, or two. 'tawk amongst yahselves' is my motto. LOL! maybe we'll get away with one, like if kaiju turns out to be a really self-amusing kid who learns to read at 3 and/or spends his time playing outside in the yard with other neighborhood kids. but i've never thought i'd have the attention span for one child.
at the same time, i can totally see the benefits of a larger family. i am one of four, and i HEART my sibs to death. it was a lot of fun growing up in our house. plus, since the little ones are 7 and 10 yrs younger than me, i got a chance to babysit, read stories, learn responsibility and participate in their upbringing a little. we weren't primary caretakers by any means, but i did get a chance to see how our age spread made it possible for my mom to put some kid-sustained systems in place that helped things run more smoothly.
also in preparing for our child to enter the world, be are becoming even more cognizant that we're building and adding onto longer-standing and extended structures when we procreate and move and marry and make life decisions like that. me and the hubster tend to isolate ourselves, but with a bun coming we're thinking about it in a different way. how far do we live from the rest of the extended fam? how often are the cousins going to see each other? dh only has one brother, but they were raised really close to their 4 cousins; now they are all adults and it's really cute to see how important they are in each others' lives, even tho they're spread out over the NY tri-state area. there were four of us siblings but we were isolated from extended family and only saw any given set of cousins like once a year when we made holiday-related road trips. now we're adults and only just now getting back into sporadic email contact.
kaiju will have a 1st cousin almost exactly 1 yr older than him; a 2nd cousin the same exact age. they will all live in 3 different states... LI, NJ, and we're the farflung ones in MD. what will their relationships be like? it's sobering to know that that's entirely up to us.
11.27.2007
random preggo complaints & thoughts:
1. i miss my cheekbones already. and i know this madness is only just beginning, lol
2. drooooooool: http://www.littlepalmisland.com/LittlePalmIsland_Packages.aspx?packageid=93
3. i feel like i'm in bootcamp: like i should just be marching around chanting, "my back is achin. my belt's too tight. my boobies shake from left to right. left... left... left right left... hut, two, three four..."
4. WOW
5. i almost can't believe i'm going through all this uncomfort for someone i don't even KNOW! it seems so ill-advised. this little bugger better be cool!
6. today in the dentists office there was like a month-old baby boy who, halfway through my wait, woke up and squawked a little. his mom picked him up and held him for a minute, and then had to go to the window to fill out papers. the teenage boy who was with them asked if he could hold the baby. when she handed the babe over, the big boy's face, which had up to then been a study in adolescent boredom, lit up in this glowing smile that he quickly wiped away, then he carefully held the baby sitting on his lap and tried to act like he wasn't heck of happy. the baby boy was looking out at the room with this strangely intent look, then he smiled with one half of his face, and then his eyes started to droop closed; he was fighting it like he was a 60 yr old man in church. the whole situation was really adorable.
7. ouch. my back really hurts.
2. drooooooool: http://www.littlepalmisland.com/LittlePalmIsland_Packages.aspx?packageid=93
3. i feel like i'm in bootcamp: like i should just be marching around chanting, "my back is achin. my belt's too tight. my boobies shake from left to right. left... left... left right left... hut, two, three four..."
4. WOW
5. i almost can't believe i'm going through all this uncomfort for someone i don't even KNOW! it seems so ill-advised. this little bugger better be cool!
6. today in the dentists office there was like a month-old baby boy who, halfway through my wait, woke up and squawked a little. his mom picked him up and held him for a minute, and then had to go to the window to fill out papers. the teenage boy who was with them asked if he could hold the baby. when she handed the babe over, the big boy's face, which had up to then been a study in adolescent boredom, lit up in this glowing smile that he quickly wiped away, then he carefully held the baby sitting on his lap and tried to act like he wasn't heck of happy. the baby boy was looking out at the room with this strangely intent look, then he smiled with one half of his face, and then his eyes started to droop closed; he was fighting it like he was a 60 yr old man in church. the whole situation was really adorable.
7. ouch. my back really hurts.
11.17.2007
the big joke that is preggeritis fashion
so i got a preggo pilates disc from netflix and burned it. it's pretty good, not the challenge becomes making the time to actually do it more than once a week. at least i walk a lot.
in other news, the strip is darkening, the belly button has popped further (i thought once it popped, it was popped? apparently not. it's still popping), and i am starting to feel weird in my clothes. or perhaps i should say, i'm starting to feel weird about the fact that i no longer HAVE any clothes. all of a sudden i went from a full closet, to having two pairs of pants. none of my l/s shirts reach the bottom of my belly now and i have to layer a long tank under, or a long t-shirt over. im getting preggo clothes in desperation but it feels SO retarded to spend money on clothes i'm only gonna need for a short time. and THEN, there's the fact that, i'm all loving my rounded and constantly changing body when i'm naked. but when i put on clothes they invariably are bulgy and bulky and full of paperbag elastic in strange places, tight in some spots and baggy in others, and i look like hot crap on a stick. sigh.
the funny thing is, i thought i didn't care about clothes. let them stop cooperating with me, and i find i am actually way more invested than i thought.
so, i recognized that i was generally just whining here about my appearance... but i was sitting around in my pajamas and had done nothing about it. i got up from the computer, showered, put some color on my lips and changed from my little silver hoops to my big silver hoops, and put on a stretchy black knit wrap dress, some grey yoga pants, and red chucks. i feel fiiiiiiiine.
it's handy that that whole empire waist / maternity look is in style now for whatever odd reason. i never understand fashion trends, but at least it's more useful than that weird resurgence of slouchy 1980s boots, skinny jeans, and leggings.
in other, not entirely unrelated news, i'm inspired to try that trick of turning a pair of pants into preggo pants - basically, sew in a bow across the zipper, take a stretchy band of fabric and sew a tube to the top. there was a link on crafster that i will have to re-find. i think if i can rock my army surplus cargos again, all will be right with the world. lol!
in other news, the strip is darkening, the belly button has popped further (i thought once it popped, it was popped? apparently not. it's still popping), and i am starting to feel weird in my clothes. or perhaps i should say, i'm starting to feel weird about the fact that i no longer HAVE any clothes. all of a sudden i went from a full closet, to having two pairs of pants. none of my l/s shirts reach the bottom of my belly now and i have to layer a long tank under, or a long t-shirt over. im getting preggo clothes in desperation but it feels SO retarded to spend money on clothes i'm only gonna need for a short time. and THEN, there's the fact that, i'm all loving my rounded and constantly changing body when i'm naked. but when i put on clothes they invariably are bulgy and bulky and full of paperbag elastic in strange places, tight in some spots and baggy in others, and i look like hot crap on a stick. sigh.
the funny thing is, i thought i didn't care about clothes. let them stop cooperating with me, and i find i am actually way more invested than i thought.
so, i recognized that i was generally just whining here about my appearance... but i was sitting around in my pajamas and had done nothing about it. i got up from the computer, showered, put some color on my lips and changed from my little silver hoops to my big silver hoops, and put on a stretchy black knit wrap dress, some grey yoga pants, and red chucks. i feel fiiiiiiiine.
it's handy that that whole empire waist / maternity look is in style now for whatever odd reason. i never understand fashion trends, but at least it's more useful than that weird resurgence of slouchy 1980s boots, skinny jeans, and leggings.
in other, not entirely unrelated news, i'm inspired to try that trick of turning a pair of pants into preggo pants - basically, sew in a bow across the zipper, take a stretchy band of fabric and sew a tube to the top. there was a link on crafster that i will have to re-find. i think if i can rock my army surplus cargos again, all will be right with the world. lol!
11.09.2007
hot yoga / not yoga
today, i learned that hot yoga is not a good idea when 16 weeks pregnant. my neighbor told me about a new yoga center nice and close to my house (direct fast bus route close, hooray!) but they only do power (vinyasa) yoga, in hot rooms. i was all amped, b/c i'd heard great things about hot yoga and been wanting to try it. pierre got all worried and made me call the midwife, who heard about the heated room and was like, girl, sit your ass in the house and do a DVD!
paraphrasing, of course.
what she actually said was that raising yr body temp like that for any sustained period of time and then doing exercises was a super bad idea for combination dehydration/babycooking reasons; particularly this early on. that body temp regulation is a big reason you sweat more when you're preggo (which i haven't seen, but perhaps b/c it's winter) and why they say no saunas and don't languish in a hot bath.
sigh. so my bikram yoga dreams will have to remain deferred.
paraphrasing, of course.
what she actually said was that raising yr body temp like that for any sustained period of time and then doing exercises was a super bad idea for combination dehydration/babycooking reasons; particularly this early on. that body temp regulation is a big reason you sweat more when you're preggo (which i haven't seen, but perhaps b/c it's winter) and why they say no saunas and don't languish in a hot bath.
sigh. so my bikram yoga dreams will have to remain deferred.
9.08.2006
9.04.2006
fooey on hotmail
i keep an old hotmail account. it used to be my main one, back in the early days of my internet life, and was a bit of a gangster situation because it was just my-name-at-hotmail, which clearly signified that i was ahead of the curve with getting email addresses, wasn't i? no "my-name-plus-zip-code" or "name-plus-year-of-graduation" hotmail address for me, dammit. i am vanguard nerd. i am O.G. emailer. who runs this hotmail world, beeyotch? i do.
over time, of course, it became clogged with spam and useless, and besides in the interim i had gotten a yahoo address (way more storage; i used it to sign up to mailing lists i'd likely never read), built my own website and had my own domain-based address (way more fancy, even almost professional; it became my main address) and even most recently, gotten a gmail account (another moment of not being able to resist the uber nerdy chic since i got it super early when it was invite-only) (and yes, i know this matters to no one other than me, and only in that secret cyber place in my heart that is vain about my tech prowess. but don't worry because really, that's not what matters. it's how you USE it.)
so, the hotmail had become mainly a place to let myspace send its constant friend request emails, and it sat there collecting mailing lists i no longer read but feel nostalgic enough about to not unsubscribe from.
it also housed like, 10 years or so of my early internet communication history. if i ever wanted to chronicle the trajectory of certain relationships, revisit correspondence between myself and my sister when one or the other of us was living abroad, refresh for myself just exactly why my various exes are just that - i was secure in the knowledge that the historical effluvia was archived there for my personal posterity.
and then.
i go to login one time to doublecheck an amazon order status, and those bastards had dismantled my account! there was a screen where i had to reactivate it, and they tried to play like it was just some routine maintenance shit b/c i hadn't logged in in 30 days or whatever... and so i click the button that said, "yeah, assholes, i DO want this account, what kind of jerks are you guys anyway?"
and when i get in, i see that the entire history was wiped clean.
brand new.
inbox at zero.
spitwads.
over time, of course, it became clogged with spam and useless, and besides in the interim i had gotten a yahoo address (way more storage; i used it to sign up to mailing lists i'd likely never read), built my own website and had my own domain-based address (way more fancy, even almost professional; it became my main address) and even most recently, gotten a gmail account (another moment of not being able to resist the uber nerdy chic since i got it super early when it was invite-only) (and yes, i know this matters to no one other than me, and only in that secret cyber place in my heart that is vain about my tech prowess. but don't worry because really, that's not what matters. it's how you USE it.)
so, the hotmail had become mainly a place to let myspace send its constant friend request emails, and it sat there collecting mailing lists i no longer read but feel nostalgic enough about to not unsubscribe from.
it also housed like, 10 years or so of my early internet communication history. if i ever wanted to chronicle the trajectory of certain relationships, revisit correspondence between myself and my sister when one or the other of us was living abroad, refresh for myself just exactly why my various exes are just that - i was secure in the knowledge that the historical effluvia was archived there for my personal posterity.
and then.
i go to login one time to doublecheck an amazon order status, and those bastards had dismantled my account! there was a screen where i had to reactivate it, and they tried to play like it was just some routine maintenance shit b/c i hadn't logged in in 30 days or whatever... and so i click the button that said, "yeah, assholes, i DO want this account, what kind of jerks are you guys anyway?"
and when i get in, i see that the entire history was wiped clean.
brand new.
inbox at zero.
spitwads.
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